I'm like bad poetry. you pity me so you dont laugh.

I hurt. So much. Its one of those pains that starts in your heart and spreads to your stomach and your throat. So it hurts and pounds and makes you cry. Shaking. hurting. dont know what to do. I miss everything. I guess I miss me.
I miss being in love.
I miss having friends
I miss Dan and Paul.
I miss real laughs
I miss Friday nights that didnt consist of homework
And kisses with meaning
Jones soda and swedish fish
Hugs. a lot.

I miss memories that didnt make me cry
I miss the way he used to care
Dancing in my driveway at midnight
Never actually watching a movie
Feeling like someone cared
Dancing in the rain
Dancing like it mattered
Loving color
Loving words and poems
Loving.

I know. concieded. Yeah. I get it. It'll get worse before it gets better. Winters setting in and here comes the depression. Right on time.
I hate everything.
Except for you. Just so you know. I dont hate you.